High-Fives in the Cockpit

and a fair amount of rum, and Jimmy Buffett playing "Christmas in the Caribbean." We've made it through all the bridges and the tides and the currents and the ports ... we're anchored in Virginia Key, the first of the Florida Keys, just off Miami with the city skyline off the cockpit ... we're here! Weather permitting, on Monday we cross the Gulf Stream and enter the Bahamas!

We probably will not have internet! It could be several weeks between opportunities to post and get in touch with you all, please don't worry! We'll be traveling in company with another boat and always in radio contact. What an adventure we're having!!!

We're On Our Way!!

We left yesterday afternoon, after a string of errands and goodbyes, and sailed 1/2 day to tie up in the marina at Knapps Narrows again - lovely spot, interesting to watch the watermen going up and down the channel, and the drawbridge. Had quite a challenge anchoring in the current, which I wrote about in Life Afloat. Today we sailed a perfect day, warm and sunny and winds from the north, comfortably behind us, to anchor at Solomons, MD. Tomorrow is a long day, down to the next good all-weather anchorage. Thursday is expected cold and windy and rainy, and we'll hole up there and wait for better weather. Stow the provisions we are still passing back and forth daily from V-berth to salon and back again so they wont clutter the place we're living in at the moment, and hope to catch up on some writing.

Everything's Falling Into Place

Finally! The weather's moderated, a hint of fall - dry and clear and crisp after the hazy, hot, humid days of August, and all the details of getting ready to cruise are also "falling" into place. The canoe and the Walker Bay and the car all listed on Craigslist; the first two magically transformed into wads of cash in our pockets. Dan spent a good deal of this morning detailing the car, we've got some eager buyers who want to look at it tomorrow.

We've emptied the storage shed we had here at the marina, got rid of a lot of stuff and are storing the rest for less than half the previous price in a self-storage in town. The new autopilot compass is installed, sea-trialed and ready to go. My office is empty (the boxes of my career packed back home to be stored in the new self-storage). We have a likely tenant for the townhouse. We've been through the rounds of our doctors and all are satisfied we're ready to go; Dr Gordon gave us a stack of prescriptions for drugs to ward off many of our most likely emergencies, from sea sickness to insect stings. The most challenging thing remaining on my calendar right now, is having time to say goodbye to all the friends we've made here.

OMG! We're leaving NEXT WEEK!

After years of having a vague dream in the mists of the future, it's here! My Facebook status is "Bittersweet - wrapping up a 34-year science career and beginning Act II."

It Could Be a Headline in the Washington Post

So today I continued sorting my stuff, throwing lots away. Weird, much of what was in my file cabinet was reference copies of old journal articles - don't need these, everything is on the Web now. Heck, I even pitched author copies of my own reports - again, they're all on the Web. Science moves on anyway. There's something philosopical about publishing science in a fluid medium like the Web instead of a static medium like paper, something that reinforces that you need to continually go back and recheck, rethink, revalidate, refine your theory. And I deleted hundreds of old emails and shredded documents like 10-year-old travel vouchers and statements from my gov't credit card. AND pushed the "send" button on my 9-090 (the electronic exit paperwork).

I can see the headline in the Washington Post: Scandal at USGS! Employee Shreds Hundreds of Documents, Days Before Leaving Job! What Was She Hiding?

Whoever used the shredder before me had shredded cds (the machine is meant to be able to do this) and they fractured into tiny pieces. Every time I fluffed the shredder bag it sprayed rainbow holographic glitter all over me.

The Only Present I Want Is Your Presence

I don't like surprise gifts, because I hate asking anyone to read my mind. Its like setting them up for failure - an expected surprise is an oxymoron - and the best they can do is meet expectations, by definition its impossible to exceed expectations. Therefore, Dan is relieved not to try to get a gift for me and hope it works. Instead he asked me what I wanted for my birthday yesterday.

I told him what I really wanted was not to have to start the day by saying goodbye to him. So, he came to Washington with me! He had absolutely nothing to do there, he brought a goofy novel, hung out at a park bench, read, peoplewatched while I was in a meeting, met me for lunch. Then I went back to my meeting and he went back to hanging out. After work, he was there, sitting in the car with the top down, to whisk me away to meet Karen and go to Jaleo for happy hour tapas.

What an unbelieveably rich full perfect day - and what an incredible I love you gift - he spent the whole day doing nothing .... except making me feel like the most special important person in his world!

environmental depression (the other kind)

I've been interviewing candidates to replace me ... its a very creepy feeling. This is a person who will be doing my job - their way - starting next month. And interacting with my colleagues - their way. I'm visualizing this person sitting at my desk, sending notes to my secretary.

After I provide a brief period of training, I'm out of the country and out of touch and it won't matter to me how my successor does his/her job, gets along with the others, or anything else. That's another part of the creepiness. People shouldn't be allowed to make decisions about things where they have no stake in the outcome.

environmental depression?

There's been a lot of news recently about how beneficial it is to get out and interact with the natural environment, such as this one on LiveScience. I saw this article on Yahoo News today, about "eco-therapy" for environmental depression. Here's an excerpt:

Eco-therapists point out that human beings have evolved in synchrony with nature
for millions of years and that we are hard-wired to interact with our
environment - with the air, water, plants, other animals. But in the
past two centuries, beginning with the Industrial Revolution, people have
been steadily removed from the natural world, our lives regulated not by the sun
or moon but instead by the factory clock. Recently it's gotten worse, with the
rise of the Internet and other technologies, like iPhones and BlackBerrys, that
dominate our lives, pushing us even further from any appreciation of our natural
surroundings.
"We began to get the impression that we were somehow above and
separate from nature," says Craig Chalquist, an instructor at John F. Kennedy
University in San Francisco and co-editor with Buzzell-Saltzman of the new book
Ecotherapy: Healing with Nature in Mind.
Today, more than half of the
world's population lives in cities, and many people barely ever get a glimpse of
green. At the same time, human beings appear to be doing their best to destroy
what remains of the earth by contributing to climate change - a problem that in
itself causes some people deep anxiety. But what the average person feels as
stress or depression, eco-therapists suggest, is a longing for our natural home.
"People were embedded in nature once," says Buzzell-Saltzman. "We've lost that,
and we're paying the price."

So what does that have to do with living on a boat? The article goes on to say that many Americans can spend as little as 15-30 minutes per day outdoors (walking to their car, no doubt). Living aboard both enables and forces us to spend lots of great time connected to nature in ways we never were when we lived in a house. There's sitting in the sunny cockpit with morning coffee watching the day begin, or sleeping in the V-berth under an open hatch watching the stars and moon. For the rest, even when we're tied up in the slip we're made aware of nature and its cycles. We know the rise and fall of the tide, as the boat moves. We know the strength of the wind and whether it's calm or rough on the water - in extreme cases things slide off countertops and tables. The patter of rain is loud with only a thin shell of fiberglass between us and it. I don't know how strong a force "eco-depression" is if one is isolated from nature ... but I know that the alternative, living on a boat, in touch with nature, makes me very happy!

Decluttering Day!

I've got a group of female friends who are into simplifying their lives, but many complain that they can't get their husbands to go along. Not me! We've been on a kick the last week or two, to focus on "quality of life" projects. We've been so busy with boat systems, these little jobs have been back burnered, that don't make the boat safer or sail faster, but just improve the little stuff. Stuff that you don't notice how annoying it was, until you do it and then wonder, why did I wait so long? First, we bought some plastic baskets at TrueValue to organize the fridge. We took everything out and played with alternate arrangements of baskets and what to put in them, spending an hour or two on something that's been bugging us for over a year. (In the process we also got rid of too many half-used bottles of condiments, but that's another story.) Now we can actually find and access ingredients for dinner - what a thought! Well, that apparently was all the momentum we needed. My amazing wonderful spouse got the decluttering bug this morning. He had decided we needed to do laundry because he had nothing to wear ...but then he noticed that his clothing locker still had plenty of clothes in it. So he took every single item out, and sorted, and pretty soon a large grocery bag of clothing left the boat. (for scale, each of us has space in our lockers for enough clothing to fill 2-3 airline carry-on suitcases, so this was about 25% of his total clothing). Then he decided that the bathroom drawer was too stuffed so he started on that, finding new homes for some of our meds and rearranging what was left. Now he's outside, rearranging the way things are stowed. We must have too many heavy things on the starboard side, because we sit slightly tilted in the water - he's working on leveling that. Not bad when you figure it's only noon! He inspired me to work on clothing too, though I generated only about 1/2 a large grocery bag of surplus. To be fair, though, part of what he removed was a number of polo shirts with "Navy Sailing Instructor" logos - he doesn't need them any more since his last trip was in early June. I expect in late August to be able to put away all my office clothing. Clothing and "what ifs" seem to be my biggest battle. I wish there was a list of how many of each item we'd need for 8 months of cruising. I remember on our Grand Canyon trip, there was such a list. They listed everything you needed, exactly how many T-shirts, shorts, 1 pair rain gear, 1 hat, 2 swimsuits, water sandals, etc etc, right down to "1 clean dress, for camp." Odd as it seemed, it worked out perfectly, and everything on the list exactly fit in the one rubber bag we were each alloted for the trip. Hmm, if I can't find one on the Web, maybe I'll have to make my own!

Vindicated!

They're finally starting to get uneasy about the idea of replacing me. Because my boss is also retiring, the plan is to spread my duties among several people part-time for a few months; then the new hire to replace my boss can fill my position with a person of his/her choosing.

Now, I should admit that I think very highly of my boss, L, but think that his boss, K, has been promoted above the level of her own incompetance. She's always subtly disrespected me, I believe she thinks I've been dogging it. I only produce a one-page letter every day or two for the Director's signature, how hard can that be? She doesn't really understand the background work that goes into those one-pagers. Sure, I just review documents - the hard part is that you're not looking for what's there, you're looking for what isn't there. So, today she asked L for a copy of my position description. Normally L would have hired my replacement, but since he'll be leaving, it falls to K. He forwarded it, the text they used to recruit me and justify my salary. It is full of lovely phrases like "As a senior environmental scientist, the incumbent must provide a high degree of technical skill ... and demonstrated expert competency ... in order to evaluate, review and prepare ... technical comments on ... environmental documents ... The incumbent must also have and must maintain a broad and current knowledge of environmental laws and regulations, including those established by Executive Order, the Council on Environmental Quality and the Department and shall provide environmental policy recommendations in consultation with the Chief, EAP. He/she must work routinely with a large number of specialists and professionals ... to assure compliance with environmental laws and meet with members of the Department and other Federal agencies so as to assist in the development of appropriate policies ..." L cc'ed me on the email traffic where K said, oh, my, we can't ask a part-timer to do all that, can you boil it down to a page that I can forward and ask around for likely candidates? [I had already recommended two names who understood the job and could do it] L, wonderful, honest, Mr. Integrity Himself, L, replied, well, no, K. I think this description of the job will do. If anyone has any questions they can call me." You don't have to read very far between the lines to realize that L has said, hey, look, we're asking for some fairly high-level stuff here! Doh! You need someone with some background! You can't just give it to whoever looks bored today and expect a good outcome! I don't think K ever understood that this job wasn't just a sinecure that any warm body could fill - now she's scrambling!

I'm reminded of the Piet Hein grook: "To many people artists seem undisciplined and lawless/Such laziness with such great gifts seems little short of crime/One question's how they make the things they make so flawless/The other's what they're doing with their energy and time."

And I feel smug!

Angering Out (Anchoring Out)

Absolutely picture-perfect, weather-perfect weekend for sailing. Its unusually dry and breezy and cool for July (attributed to dust in the atmosphere from volcanic explosions coupled with El Nino). We had planned to meet J&E on Solution and J&A on Valinor and raft up. J described it as acting out a Willie Nelson song: "on the Rhode [River] again, on the [anchor] rode again..."

We sailed down in company with J&E. J got in the dinghy with his camera while underway, E cast him off and proceeded to sail the boat solo while J zipped around taking pictures of Solution under sail, then came over to take pix of us under sail, then got back aboard Solution. This was the only really windy part of the day and made great photos that I'll add tonight. Later the wind died down to where we almost needed engines to come in to the river. They dropped the hook, we tied to them, and about an hour later J&A arrived and tied to the other side. This was our first time seeeing J&A's boat, and their first raft-up in it. Their son K was fascinated with the dog. Other acquaintances of J&E joined us for a while, too. We all took turns doing boat tours and comparing features - a first for us, we were the largest boat and hence the party boat for the evening. We were also the only one with a cockpit table, and our new awning made us the shadiest. Dinner that night consisted of heavy hors d'oevers (sp?), whatever was on hand, and a bit too much beer, lots of conversation and laughter until well after dark.

J&A had had some trouble with their wind indicator, so we planned Sunday to send A up the mast to take a look. She'd never done it before. Unfortunately her experience wasn't a good one, it was so rolly that by the time she reached the spreaders she felt she was at her comfort limit, so down she came and we sent J up instead. After enjoying both the experience and the view and getting a temporary fix on the wind instrument, down he came. We then all piled into the two motorized dinghies (even the dog) and explored up the shallow end of the creek. It's all research Smithsonian land, so beautiful and undeveloped.

Too soon, the weekend was over and one by one we cast off and set sails for home. We took photos of J&A under sail on the way out. Once we got out on the Bay proper the water was so choppy and the winds so light that we had to motor home. Our autohelm, the illustrious BaronOtto von Pilott, unfortunately made the trip interesting ... insisting that we were turning counterclockwise circles while we were in fact steering a steady course northward. We called Raymarine and described the problem, and explained that we had to get it fixed quickly because we were taking the boat south this autumn. The Raymarine tech said it sounded like the gyro in the course computer had gone south itself, just a bit early! The good news is that its still under warranty. Of course, we're not enthused about adding anything else to our "to do" list before September, but at least we can get it fixed before we go.

All in all, a perfect boat weekend. Rafting up at its best. And so great that this was J&A's introduction to it! I was reminded how much I enjoy gatherings of a few people, where you get a chance to connect in a little more depth than the cocktail-party level chatter I enjoyed in my 20s. I was reminded of how much I value the natural world, as time outdoors helps me regain my perspective. Every time we come back from a weekend at anchor, I feel like I've gotten the "anger" out.

He Who Dies With The Most Toys Wins

I drove home following a car with this bumper sticker yesterday, and it got me thinking. Because of course we don't have room for toys on a 33' boat (except that many would argue that the boat itself is the toy). Instead, I trained our friends to give gifts of experiences: dinners out, concert tickets, museum passes; or consumables like a bottle of good wine. From that evolved the belief that he who dies with the most experiences wins.

As we get ready to leave Annapolis and try to schedule some one-on-one time with all the special people we won't be able to see as often, I realize that our social calendar is way, way overcrowded. I am incredibly wealthy -- I have discovered that I have more friends than days. New bumper sticker: He Who Dies With The Most Friends ... Really Wins.

23 More Goodbyes

I'm counting down not days at work but number of times I have to begin my day by saying goodbye to Dan. The end of those, can't come soon enough! I have 8 more weeks of work (Oh the suspense! Will she get everything done in time? Stay tuned!) but only 3 days per week in-office. I don't enjoy, but can make it through, getting up at oh-dark-thirty and staring at brake lights on the Beltway for at least an hour each way, but I hate seeing Dan in the rear-view mirror as I turn away!

I started another kind of goodbyes last weekend, the first of several one-on-one visits. We are trying to have some real intense time with the local friends on our "A-list" before we leave the luxury of having everyone within a few hours' drive (except D&J&A in Colorado and D&D in the USVI) and are reduced to email only. Its always fun to see people on their turf, you understand so much more about friends when you get to learn the context that shapes them. We had a wonderful visit, made more vivid by the knowledge that it would be the last opportunity for a year or so. Details seemed richer, more enhanced. Autumn leaves are more vibrant, colorful, intense than those of summer, and I wonder, is the sense of impending (temporary) loss part of the reason?

Is it symbolic?

My alarm clock has gone completely crazy. A few weeks ago it went off at 2:15 AM. Then last week it rang on time, but I couldn't turn it off. Another time it kept on doing "snooze alarm" after being turned off; I finally had to unplug it and remove its backup battery. Yesterday it failed to go off at all - fortunately it was a clear sunny day and that woke me up only 20 minutes late. I think my clock is ready to go into retirement with me. Do you think its an omen?

Our boat flies two burgees - small triangular flags that announce our club affiliations. One is for Navy Sailing, the other is for a cruising association that Dan has achieved senior status in. Yesterday their cord broke, the Navy burgee is tangled in the rigging, the cruising flag fell to the deck. Dan claims that Navy and SSCA parted ways. The symbolism is that Navy sailing would only apply if we stayed here in Annapolis, SSCA really applies if we're sailing around to new places and exploring. Hmmm.

We're still on a "high" of excitement about Dan's medical news.

Things are falling into place!

July 4 was my last ever paid holiday (or, if you think about it, in retirement every day is a paid holiday). Then, best news, yesterday we met with Dan's oncologist and he told us the last scans came back completely negative! Six months ago he had told us there were some "spots" on one lung and one on his liver that they were monitoring; this visit he told us that both were stable and benign. He doesn't need to see Dan for a YEAR! (That's forever in cancer terms) Dan is "medically boring" and we spent half the visit talking about sailing! Last month we got the boat survey (equivalent to getting your house appraised) and the surveyor was extremely pleased with the boat. The word "substantial" appeared seven times in his writeup and he described the boat as suitable to cross oceans, even though at this point we only plan to sail coastally. He also increased the estimated value of the boat; it may be that we have one of the highest, if not the highest, value for boats of this type. New insurance is in place with the new higher value added.

I had always promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people who just counts down the days to retirement, I want to do something important for my salary. Mostly I've been very able to do that ... until I finished my SI report last month. Knowing that that report is the last major contribution I'm likely to make in the field of science in public decisionmaking, it's been very difficult for me to stay motivated once I turned it in to my boss. Now, I'm not counting ... but I have 22 more days in this office (3 per week, except the week of 11-13 Aug I'll be downtown.)

Bright and Early

So. The alarm clock went beep beep beep and it seemed very dark, but it was also raining very hard. Dan got out of bed and got the thermos of coffee he'd made the night before (as always on a work day) and poured a cup while we discussed our plans for the day. Part way through the second cup we heard the ships clock strike (again, as always). But something was off. Instead of 2 chimes (5 A.M.) we heard 5 chimes. Eh? Sometimes the ships clock is off if it needs winding, but that wasn't the case.

Here's how the chimes work, for breaking the ships day into 4-hour watches. 8 chimes ("8 bells") is midnight, 4 AM, 8 AM, noon, 4 PM or 8 PM). Then 1/2 hour later (12:30, 4:30, 8:30 etc) is one chime. 1/2 hour later (1:00, 5:00, 9:00 etc) is two chimes. And so on. So 5 chimes could be 6:30 AM and we'd overslept - nope, too dark. I turned on the light and looked at the clock, which for reasons I will probably never know, decided to ring at 2:15 AM. Worse, we'd just had 2 cups of coffee, so it wasn't like either of us could fall back asleep!

I was at my desk ultra-early this morning, but I'm sure it'll be an early night!

Life on a Boat - Trading "Stuff" for Freedom

A few familiar themes in this article about liveaboards. I feel like the queen of the soundbite! Though I joked with our neighbor Ed (also quoted in the article) that the author truncated both the size of Ed's boat - misquoted as 28 feet instead of 38 - and truncated a few of my statements, getting the general point but not the tone. The interview process was interesting in its breadth. I think the writer is used to having the space for longer articles and exploring more complexities of an issue. I get the feel on first read of a ramble without clear focus. But the exciting thing is, I got quoted ... several times.

Just for Fun - Friday Fill-ins

1. I grew up thinking that science and technology was an upward road and life would just keep getting better and better.

2. FaceBook was the last website I was at before coming here.

3. Why don't you stop and think it through?

4. Getting a reality check from Dan helps me relax.

5. Thanks for the great parking spot.

6. I think people who take more than their fair share of anything are very off-putting.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing J&E (and giving them back their dog, who we are dogsitting for) tomorrow my plans include doing the reviews I should have done on Thursday and Sunday, I want to write!

Finished!!

Last night I sent this email to a few friends:

Subject: My last few days have been interesting! And productive! (and a little
strange)

Text: Well, as I promised in my blog, I've been sleeping on my
office floor. I've been waking up between 6 and 7, going downstairs to the
cafeteria for breakfast (high protein and a little carb); then coming back to my
office, locking the door, check my personal email, and writing. I haven't talked
to anyone except for a mandatory teleconference for 1/2 hour on Tuesday, and a 1
hour seminar thisafternoon. Writing nonstop, leaving the office only to use the
bathroom or pick up printouts of successive drafts of the report. Eat a hearty
lunch (protein, veggies, and some fat) and go back to write. I haven't been
hungry for dinner so I've been skipping it. Work till about 9, then spend about
45 minutes on personal hygeine and exercise, then read for a few minutes and
fall asleep. I've spent a total of almost 37 hours actively writing in the past
3 days. Then I utterlyhit the wall, but - its done! Tomorrow, all I have left is
a total of 3 paragraphs making points in 3 different sections and revise the
executive summary to reflect the new organization of the report. Its odd to me
how totally relaxed I feel. It's odd how little creature comfort I *needed* --
c'mon, I'm sleeping on the floor, drinking only water and eating 2 meals a day,
haven't been outside since Monday. But I feel great, incredibly accomplished. In
a weird way it's been cozy and pleasant.I haven't had to think about anything
else BUT this report. My clothing was packed, no decisons what to wear in the
morning. No deciding priorities in the inbox, there was only one thing to work
on. The phone was set to roll to voicemail and I didn't check email. I feel a
little disconnected. But Dan's coming home tomorrow, and so will I. Interesting
experience and I'm glad I had it. But now I'm ready for something else to think
about. Anything!

I got back a bunch of supportive congrats emails and as I pointed out, they shouldn't build me up to be supergirl here - Dan points out that I'm pretty susceptible to working with a deadline ... and trying to finish this before retirement is the ultimate deadline. One friend D. said it sounded as if this was a kind of meditation for me, or a mini-writing retreat, and I told her that a retreat was exactly what it felt like. I learned a few things about my style, too: One is that multitasking and writing just don't work for me - I need to do total immersion if I'm in a writing project like this. I also learned how sensitive I am to biorhythms. The juices started really flowing for me from about 2 or 3 PM till about 7 or 8 PM, that's when I got the really hard parts done. It was lovely to work those hours, and then have no worries about a long drive home after. Just hit the standby key and go to the other side of the room where I had my sleeping pad laid out. Finally, I learned that protein is so much betterfor my brain than carbs. I was never a sugar buzz person, but now I'm questioning even my cup of plain oatmeal for a mid-morning boost.

I looked again at my report and the conclusions seem so obvious now, like anyone should have known that. Also, the anecdotes so relevant, and the organization so logical. I think I need to take a step back from the project, give it a small rest, and then reread it start to finish. Gads, I hope this paper is as good as I think it is. But then, I'm so close to it. I learned so much during this project, about how we as a society use science in making decisions. And yeah, I'm proud of myself!

Down to the Wire

99 days until 9/9/09. I'm cranking HARD on my final report - a study of scientists' impressions, successes, and concerns when linking their science to social policy decisions. When you revise a report, you know that you have to tear it down before you can rebuild. I'm at that awful awful point where it's torn down, lying in metaphorical shards on my desk - the low point. I know it will be better even before I go to sleep tonight but right now ... I hate my reviewers, I hate my audacity in volunteering for this project, I don't believe I'll ever finish ... you get it.

I slept on the office floor last night - that was an interesting experience. Dan was at sea, so there was little point in driving an hour each way to go home to an empty boat. And I have all the creature comforts - a gym with showers, a kitchen, a cafeteria for breakfast and lunch. I locked the door and spread my yoga mat and turned on my incandesent desk lamp and turned off the flourescents and played classical music on my computer. It was quiet and I loved being able to totally focus on my writing. Besides, I like my office, I'll have to take some photos when its not so messy. Sapphire blue carpet, dark wood furniture, lots of my favorite things - a painted tropical fish mobile, arty photos of Arizona on the walls, printed paper under my glass desktop in a mock-African geometric of yellow, blue, red and purple. Lots of bookshelves, and one corner is a diagonal wall, so its more interesting than a square box.

Okay, break time's over - back to writing!!

Traditional Gender Roles?

So Dan's off on a Navy cruise, his crew is another officer (male), 6 male midshipmen and 1 female mid, who he describes as a dynamo. When they were divvying up responisibilities - which midshipman is going to be the navigator, who wants to be the engineer - the young woman said she likes to cook. Dan said she's very very good, treating the crew to meals like ceviched fish, pasta alfredo, stir fry. Quite a welcome change from the usual midshipmen fare, which often seems to consist of pop-tarts and canned stew. So if she likes to do it, and she's good at it, why does it bug me that the *only* woman on the crew is the cook? The Naval Academy is not a liberal arts college, no doubt her major is something like political science or engineering, maybe I'm reading too much into this. Is this generation so truly gender-neutral that she's oblivious to the symbolism and its just a coincidence?
Or am I stuck in the sixties, when I'd sabotage any attempt to get me to do kitchen chores just to rebel against the assumption that that was the girl job? I willingly took out the trash and shoveled snow, I just didn't want to be cast as the automatic choice for housework just because I was the girl.

Bored?

“Only boring people get bored.” My 4-th grade teacher had a proverb or one-liner for any circumstance. “Find something interesting to do, and do it. Make your own fun.” When my brother and I complained of boredom, my mom’s approach would always be, “I have some chores you can do, if you can’t figure out anything else.”

But now, I’m bored. Dan’s at sea and I’m lonely and sickish and the drugs make me sleepy and I don’t do solo well. Lunch of cheese and tofu-turkey sandwiches, dinner of reheated leftovers or ramen noodles. I’m not even motivated to make myself a pot of coffee. I’m working from home and I’ve done all the easy jobs and I don’t have the energy to tackle the hard ones. Spent most of yesterday dozing on and off.

“You can tell a lot about a person, by what he does when he has nothing to do.” I think that’s the grownup version of my 4-th grade teacher’s line. Dan and I have programmed our cellphones to count down to 9/9/09. 103 days left! For a long time, my mental line was, OMG, can’t wait, can’t wait, not soon enough. Now its, OMG, it’s coming up too soon and I’m not ready! When I was 17, the beginning of my freshman year in college, my life stretched before me, wide and green and forever, all the possibilities were open. It was wonderful and rather scary. Now at 54, I have that feeling again. What do I want my future to look like? What will I do with the gift of freedom? I doubt that I'll be "bored" when we take off for the Bahamas by sailboat!

Happy Bird-thday!

The gang, celebrating on in the cockpit on Gaviota

3 years ago yesterday Dan had his emergency surgery, and now we celebrate that close call. In the hospital, they'd given him steriods that made him ravenously hungry, yet he couldn't use his right hand very well, so how to eat? He joked that he was like a baby bird, always hungry yet all he could do was tip his head up, mouth open, and wait to be fed. So "bird" became his private nickname, thus "bird-thday."

We had a fabulous weekend! Dan had suggested that he wanted a quiet, private celebration but that was not to be! Friday, we were sitting in the cockpit having a cocktail and quiet conversation when Pete & Tracy dinghied by and stopped in for a chat. No sooner had they left when Juan and Pablo came over. We pulled out all the snacks, olives and hummus and cheese and wine, and talked until well after dark. Never did have dinner!

Saturday, friend RoseAnn suggested we have a special dinner composed of all Dan's favorite foods to echo the time he couldn't eat. We bought salmon, potatoes, green beans, broccoli. But instead of a quiet dinner, we were invited to Juans for a 'small gathering' that turned out to be the Fiesta de San Ysidro (sp?) - the festival devoted to the patron saint of Juan's home town of Madrid. Hilarious bilingual conversation and fantastic food. And learned some fascinating cultural tidbits. For example, Juan's friend Antonio (sociologist? middle school social studies teacher?) said that you could divide people culturally in Central and South America based on the native Indian tribe they descended from, and which starch they favored and would eat nothing else - thus Mexico is a 'corn' culture; and one area is rice and beans; and further south they use potatoes; etc. And Pablo had us all in stitches as he described running with the bulls as a teenager. When we'd eaten and drunk our fill, we went home and were dissecting the party (a.k.a gossiping) when we heard a loud BANG! We looked topside and there were fireworks that we saw twice - once in the sky, and once reflected in the creek. The fireworks were for the end of the semester at the Naval Academy, but for us, they celebrated 3 years without cancer.

Do the hardest thing in your inbox FIRST

I tried this experiment last Wednesday - I did the two hardest things in my inbox first. Usually, I save them for midafternoon. My logic is that I'm waiting to build momentum, but in fact, I end up distracted most of the morning, half-thinking about the yucky thing ahead, and having a mood of dread most of the work day. And sometimes a sense of crisis if I don't have time to get it done before going-home time. So Weds I tried getting the hard part done first ... by 10:00 both of the hard emails were written and I had a sense of being able to glide through the rest of the day, could even afford time to go out to lunch. Wow. It felt great, so I decided to see what it would be like if I could keep doing the hard thing first, all week.

I was able to follow the plan 3 days out of five, and they were great. One day, I had something urgent to do in the morning that I had to do first, it wasn't the hardest thing in my inbox, but I don't have total control of my time. And bang! I was back in my old pattern of dreading the thing I was postponing, the hard thing, and didn't start on it until almost 2. And then one other day, I just couldn't get going and wasted most of the day in administrivia. Overall, the experiment was so successful, and I was so pleased with the 3 days I did the hardest thing first, that I'm going to try to continue, and even look for ways to do that in my personal life.

Whodathunk I'd finally get this time management thing figured out just in time to retire?

Just-In-Time? or Just-In-Case?

I recently read this article, called "When and How to Say Enough." This author claims that a lot of our woes, from clutter to weight gain, come from the subconscious idea from caveman times, that good things in life are scarce and you have to gather them when you find em, just in case. But in modern times, things are abundant and come into your life when you need them - synchronicity, or just-in-time. And that disconnect between modern life and ancient impulses is the problem. I thought her "excercises" at the end of the article might make a good blog challenge. It turned out to be more "challenging" than I'd bargained for!

* List 10 times you thought that there wouldn't be enough of something and you survived.
1: Right before laundry day, I invariably think I have nothing to wear. Also invariably, I've never ever gone to work stark naked. Therefore, I did have something to wear after all. Just that it was something that I didn't like as much as the stuff I'd already worn. Or, I retrieved a pair of jeans from the laundry bag that were "relatively clean."
2: I had just put in an offer on my first home, a townhouse, and underestimated how much earnest money I'd need. This resulted in my standing in the grocery store with $3 until my next paycheck. (A good friend offered me a loan, which I took, and paid back at the end of the month.)
3: My bedroom as a kid had what I considered waaay too little bookshelf space for my collection of science-fiction paperbacks and knicknacks. Then I figured out that stacking the books double-deep gave me all the space I needed, looked good, AND created a couple of cool little hiding spots in back for treasures.
4: Skill: Our boat had developed engine trouble and we had to come into the marina's work slip under sail. I had never even practiced doing this before and now I had to do it for real - and the slip was lined with iron rails so a mishap could cause some damage. I did it awkwardly, inelegantly and a little too fast - but right on, and no one was hurt and nothing was damaged.
5: I probably shouldn't mention all the times I came into the gas station and put 13.8 gallons into a 14-gallon gas tank, should I?
6: This is just HARD. I can't think of 10. Does that mean I've led a pampered life?

* List 10 areas where you have too much, not too little.
Only 10?
1: Foodie condiments we tried, and thought we'd enjoy making this style of food, so we bought several bottles, only to later get bored before we'd used them all up and moved on to something else.
2: iPod songs, we got a bunch of collections from a friend that are so overwhelming we've never tackled the project of listening to them and sorting through to decide which to keep. Also a bunch we ripped from borrowed CDs, and again never organized. We have no idea what we've got and haven't ever listened to many of them.
3: clothing (see above)
4: building materials either left over from other projects, or salvage. We're imaginative to be able to visualize uses for these things, and eco-conscious enough not to want to just put them in a dumpster. But some projects will probably never get done, so these things just sit there, taking up storage space.
5: scented candles. I can visualize myself lighting them and enjoying their fragrance, but I buy them faster than I use them up.
6: shampoos and hair products I fell for the advertising promises, tried them once, didn't like them, and ... left the partially used bottle in the back of the cabinet.
7: note cards. I buy cute ones, but usually end up just emailing.
8: dried beans. I think this is a carryover from when we lived in the plains of Colorado about 45 minutes in good weather from the nearest grocery store. We could still eat for several weeks just from the foods we have aboard.
9: soup recipes to try "someday." And, we're moving to a warm climate, how often are we going to make soup anyway?
10: cool art, photos in frames, and other decorations for the walls. My parents had collected so much that there wasn't a spare inch of wall space in their home, anything but restful. You couldn't appreciate any one thing, it was so crowded, jumbled, distracting.
11: pens. Okay, this is a weird one. Mostly we accumulate souvenir pens, free giveaways with some company's name printed on them. What makes it weird is that I always write in pencil. 12: Xmas decorations. We have enough to decorate the 3500 sq ft Victorian we lived in when we were stationed in Wyoming. But we'll never own anything that big again. Our boat is 33 feet long by 11 feet at its widest. Our condo (currently rented out) is about 1000 square feet. I don't have enought space to put all those decos up if I wanted to. And now, I having that many "decorations per inch" is no longer my style. I'm favoring a lighter touch - less is more.
13: Boat Fenders. When people tie them badly, they often break free and drift away. We often see them floating by and take them. But, we have enough for our boat, we've given many away to friends and dock neighbors, and still have surplus.
14: Casual acquaintances and e-quaintances. The problem with these is that these relatively shallow relationships that are going nowhere take emotional time and energy away from nurturing the relationships with my true friends and e-friends. (If I sent you the link to read this, you're NOT one of the casual ones!) Especially those who travel, I'm all about out-of-sight, out-of-mind.

* List 20—or 50, or 1,000—wonderful things that entered your life just at the right time, with no effort on your part. Start with the little things (oxygen, sunlight, a song on the radio). You'll soon think of bigger ones. Most [people] realize that the most important things in their lives showed up this way.
I realized that all the IRL friends in my life arrived this way. J. and E., who we met when their little dog ran up to me in the parking lot when they had just moved here. D., whose charter sailboat business was being represented by a woman who was best friends with my office mate. All the cats and dog we had as pets (most arrived as strays). My college roommate and BFF Karen (how we met is lost in the mists of antiquity and freshman year). Our boat - friend D. saw it on a website and thought it would be perfect for us. We didn't even know we were looking, yet. Boat fenders (see above). Our artificial Xmas tree - it was a display model in the store in
Wyoming, offered for 1/2 price on Dec 22. The store manager decided it would be cheaper to leave all the decorations on than to pay the staff time to remove them (and they couldn't sell them without the packages anyway), so he included them all for free. We had absolutely nothing at that time early in our marriage, so it was a wonderful gift! Jobs - I have to admit, I've never applied for any job I've ever gotten, they've always contacted me, or invited me to apply, or interagency personnel agreements. Though, I did apply for several that I didn't get, and I realized later, would have been totally wrong for me. A raft trip down the Grand Canyon as part of a science expedition - a colleague was organizing part of the trip and needed about 30 people to help, any relevant experience at all. Right place, right time. The surgeon for Dan's cancer surgery. Recently, we ran into an old acquaintance who brought us up to date on his own cancer woes (he's well now) and mentioned that he had searched for weeks to find the great doctor who he used. He asked Dan how we'd found Dr. B. Dan replied, pure luck - this was emergency surgery and it was the nearest hospital ... which just happened to have the first Novalis machine on the mid-Atlantic coast. This list could go on forever, which is why I wrote it stream-of-consciousness style instead of numbering it. I suspect I, like the article's author, will still be thinking of things 3 years later.

The Littlest Laptop

I mentioned in an earlier post that for Earth Day we recycled our ancient laptop (hint: it still had Windows 98). We replaced it with this little gem from Amazon. It has flash memory - no spinning hard disk - so the batteries last for about 6 hours. And, with no spinning disk, it's nearly shockproof, at least far more than our big laptop. My hope is that because its so small and light, it will be easy to take to shore and find wireless hotspots while we're cruising. But far and away my favorite thing is that I can turn it sideways and read it like a book (about the same size and weight, too).

A question of scale: is this a very large red bell pepper, or a very small computer?

What is your ONE THING?

My friend Dani pointed me to this post on finding the one most important thing in your life, your true focus. In her own blog, Dani decided that her one thing was feeling. Another blogger, Gretchen, quotes Justice Sandra Day O'Connor stating that her one thing was work worth doing.

I thought about my own one thing. What would it be? Water? My whole life is about water - it's the focus of my work as an environmental scientist (water resources), it's the focus of my unusual home life (on a sailboat). My colleague Imogene says this is a congruent life, because I live what I beleive is important. I've often stated that I don't want a balanced life, no matter how much work-life balance seems to be the buzz these days. To me, "balance" means a little good, a little bad; a little up, a little down; no black or white, just gray. Well, I don't want a life that's got some down and some bad and some gray. I want saturated colors, passion, and wonder! Okay, so water's a good candidate for my one thing, but not quite it.

Dan? After 25 years he still completes me and challenges me and we grow together. But, making him my one thing puts an unfair burden on both of us to live up to.

Learning is my one thing, and I realize now, it always has been. Stuff came incredibly easy to me as a kid in school. I like brainteasers and take IQ tests for fun. I remember discussing the sudoku craze with my dad, and we both agreed they're 'boring' - you can plug and chug and use logic to get the right answer, but you don't get that satisfying rush when the pieces fall together and you see the solution and say "Aha!" When I reflected on that conversation after reading Dani's blog, that's when I knew my one thing.

Bye-bye electric bills, hello sunshine!

So. Our plan for last weekend was to have a nice fish dinner Friday evening, then install our solar panels Saturday morning (the clamps arrived in Friday's mail, along with our new netbook computer). The weather was predicted perfect (80s during the day, 60-ish at night, moderate winds) so we'd planned to anchor out in the undeveloped Rhode River where I could do some long-overdue writing.

The weeknd started great. Salmon brushed with some lemon-pepper-garlic oil that Melissa had given us at Xmastime, rice medley with portabello mushrooms and cream (NOT from a Campells soup can, either!) and green beans, and a bottle of wine. But then on Saturday morning, the solar panel installation proved to be more complex logistically than we'd expected. So by 3:00 in the afternoon, we had the first panel up, but no wiring connected.

We decided that finishing the project would be more gratifying than going out for the weekend. And in many ways, staying in our slip is almost as nice as being out. (We're paying the upgrade for a slip directly on the creek, with a great unobstructed view of passing boat traffic - and worth every penny of it!)

To make a long story short, two trips to the marine supply store, a lot of trial and error, a fair dose of self-doubt, and reading and rereading the instructions, plus two different textbooks on boat systems, and by mid-afternoon Sunday .... success!

I'm pretty confident of my calculations for our power use. If the panels live up to their advertising, and we continue to conserve as we've done in the past, we'll be able to make ALL our power needs on sunny days, until we have 3 cloudy days in a row. The only thing we won't be able to provide is air conditioning. For that, we'll still need shore power. Of course, if we're on the water, its cooler and breezier so perhaps we'll need it less often.

Earth Day

So for Earth Day yesterday Dan & I:

• telecommuted and saved gas (okay, I guess I really did that for myself. love working from home!)
• took the stairs instead of the elevator to my doctors appt
• brought reusable bags to the grocery store, where we bought local produce whereever we could
• wiped the hard disk from an ancient laptop, and collected a bunch of used batteries, to bring to the "personal electronics recycling drive" today at work
• hoped to install the solar panels we bought a couple of months ago, but discovered we had the wrong mounting brackets and had to reorder the right size. hopefully they'll be received soon and we can install this weekend.

Yay me!

Reeeally windy today! Something blew our shore power late yesterday afternoon. Hey, we're a sailboat, right? We're supposed to be self-sufficient. We did pretty well - used our 12V car chargers for our cellphones and the boat's diesel heater instead of the electric space heater we usually use. I'm proud of us. The only thing that *didn't* go well was the blender we use to make our morning smoothies. We have a hand-cranked blender from a camping store that's pretty effective, but it's awkward finding a place to mount it - no rocks or downed tree branches here.

Also had a great re-connection from an old friend via Facebook - got a friend request from Dan's old C.O. on his first Navy sail trip. He'd let us know he was going to be in the area and we had a wonderful time reconnecting and discussing future plans. Funny, when we joined we deliberately didn't make ourselves findable to our childhood friends, for example, I didn't include my maiden name. Some people belong in the past. But it's been glorious reconnecting with more recent folks who we've lost touch with unintentionally. (Like A. - I'd called her several times and left messages, but she never returned the calls. How was I to know she'd dropped her phone off the dock?)

April Fool's - Gotcha!

So, with the complicity of my secretary, we sent the boss a "review" of a new highway to be built with stimulus money - paving a 4-land road across the Pacific Ocean from San Francisco to Honolulu. He called and asked why he hadn't heard about this before ... and then I asked him if he got to the part about the tsunami that washed a car off the road and it hit an endangered species whale on the head. What? You hadn't heard about that one either?

An ordinary day

Drizzly, stay-at-home kind of day. I like this temperature, its chilly enough that you can tell the difference between indoors and out, a kind of separation, but not painfully chilly. We're so much more aware of weather and nature since moving aboard! All caught up on work, stopped off at the library, now home to settle down with a glossy cookbook, or maybe a trashy novel, and a bowl of warm soup. AND I made some progress on one of my forever goals, to learn how the Internet has changed libraries, I have a contact to interview.

Maybe it better wait till we have better internet connection than some unsecured wireless I'm pirating off of, though. We'll be moving back to our remodeled slip any day now, where our high-speed line is, and that glorious outside slip right on the creek, can't wait!

Heard from two distant friends today, including one who had lost her phone. I had called A. during the winter a couple of times, left messages, and never heard back. I knew her bf had been in a bad accident and I just assumed she needed some space. Then she told me she'd been trying to find us, lost our phone # when she lost her phone, and of course we weren't in our slip because our dock was gone. Looking forward to spending some time with her this summer. The other friends, J. and E., are now cruising their way back North after spending the winter in Florida and we'll see them in a couple of months. Kew-el!

Gotta change that!

Yikes! It's been a while since I've posted. And its not like nothing's going on. Mostly I've been living in my own head and coming to grips with wrapping up 30+ years in environmental science and getting ready to go cruising. Okay, we haven't had much in the way of internet connection as we're in the process of moving to a new slip (yay!!) but its the same level of connection we expect to have when we're cruising, so better get used to it. Mostly I think I've been distracted by facebook, which is fun, but may not be so good for me. Talk about a giant time sink. Worst, I spend a couple of hours in front of the computer and have the illusion that I've done something, kept in touch with people, but would have been far more productive had I used that energy to actually *write.* Gotta change that!

I also read that its easier to blog every day or two, than to blog once every week or two. Whether its the habit factor, or the daunting task that recapping - or remembering(!) - two weeks of thoughts, I'm finding that true. Gotta change that also!

A decision ...

...that seems minor, but may have more implications. On the one hand, I really like getting responses about the kind of stuff I write here, and it really helps me organize my thinking. On the ohter hand, I'm not sure I want to share ALL my hopes and fears with all my online and IRL friends. And on the other other hand, I want to be transparent to my closest friends, the ones I know I can trust with my heart. On the ohter other other hand, I know we're going to want to keep a blog when we go cruising.

I'm running out of hands ... so I've started another blog, http://danandjaye.blogspot.com/ , for our cruising adventures, and am keeping this one for my more introspective stuff. Now between these 2 blogspot blogs (both called Kumatage!) and Life Afloat (the one I write for the Annapolis Capital) I wonder if I'll confuse myself???

We don't do Valentine's Day

I've forever relieved Dan of the bogus obligation to buy me chocolate, roses, or jewelry on 14 Feb. I've told him not to even buy a card.

But every work morning at 5:45 in the cold and dark, he walks me to the car holding hands. He waves goodbye then goes back to the warm boat.

Love isn't what you show in extravagant gestures on special days. It's what you show in tiny rituals, every day.

Things I Wanna Do "Someday"

Learn to make crepes.
Free-dive 15 feet.
Explore some art - sketching, pastels, colored pencils.
Expand my iPod music library.
Interview a librarian to learn how the Internet has changed his/her job.
Rebuild the winches.
Learn to back the boat better.
Do my own personal research project: what insights do you get into a society's values by knowing the things it funds with (mandatory) taxes vs the things it funds with (voluntary)charity?
Advanced Pilates.
Make a food art mosaic of the word BEANS spelled out in different color beans.
Read at least one non-fiction book a month.
Blog more often.
Sail and swim and snorkel and hike, and toast every sunrise and sunset with Dan.

Like most of the liveaboards we know, we keep a small storage shed on land. Mostly it holds off-season clothing, suitcases, parts for boat projects yet to be done, old files and records, books we might never read again but aren't quite ready to get rid of. But also in a box is a complete rainbow of colored pencils, I used them in college and haven't had time since. Today, though, we were sorting through the stuff in the shed to get swimsuits and stuff for our vacation, and I saw the pencils in their silver box. "When?" they asked. "Soon," I thought at them.

I was talking with L. again yesterday, his wife retires in 2 weeks and he follows a month later. He said he's both excited and scared; "me too" I told him. All that leisure is fine as long as it doesn't degenerate into sloth; I think that's our secret fear. But I think of my Someday list and really believe I'll be just fine.

It's official, my boss is leaving

And I'm not looking forward to it, he's been a great boss. Smart, insightful, humble, and realistic, he's always understood that this job is an important thing, but not the only thing in any of our lives. He's always kept expectations reasonable, and let us pursue tangents that interested us. But I'm happy for him and his wife as they move to their waterfront dream home in Florida.

I've already been told I'll be asked to do 1/2 his job, plus 3/4 of mine, for the next 4-5 months. The good news is, I'll get a temporary promotion, which will boost my pension forever. The bad news is, I know how much crap he's always shielded me from, and now I'll be the one trying to intercept the crap for the rest of our group. Sigh. I'm trying to view it as a chance to learn.

Self-knowledge (just for fun)

RoseAnn claimed that she loves filling out forms, etc - it's like a test where you know all the answers LOL! And sometimes when I'm feeling braindead doing a goofy quiz is a great way to focus. Got this fun one from Nancy, and I think it captured me fairly well.

Your result for The Great Minds Advice Test...

Do Something Worth Doing

42% Franklin, 0% Freud, 25% Teresa, 8% Wilde and 25% Leonardo!

"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth the writing." ~ B. Franklin

Your life advisor is Benjamin Franklin.

Franklin was definitely a doer. He believed that life should be lived to the fullest and that a person should never stop striving to learn. Once you have learned everything your life was over.

So, you should move. Get up and do something. Discover something new. Let your mind work to it's fullest and experience life.

Take The Great Minds Advice Test at HelloQuizzy

The day you could live over and over

In addition to six more weeks of winter (ugh) I've seen multiple blogs today with variations on the theme of Groundhog Day (the movie, with the idea of living one day over and over again).

One question posed was pick one day of your life that you'd relive over and over. My answers to that question were pretty cliched. The day before my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, our last day as a happy, innocent family. The day after Dan and I were married. One of the days of our Grand Canyon raft trip (any one, they were all great). The night Dan woke me up to see a moon-rainbow, soon after we'd moved to our first house we bought together.

But I was even more fascinated with Gretchen's challenge - what if you could design a perfect day, that you wouldn't mind living over and over again, what would it look like? Her Q. gripped me especially as I look at only 7 more months of work life before I do get to design my perfect day in my retired life.

My perfect day would be sunny and not too warm (of course). It would have a little work and a little play, a little social time and a little quiet time, a little exercise and a little rest. It would start in the morning watching sunrise while sharing a pot of coffee with Dan. After breakfast we'd be "out and about" - taking a walk to explore the town we're in, going to a farmer's market, or maybe for a swim or row. Then it would be back to the boat for some quiet time, reading or blogging or drawing or listening to music. In late afternoon we'd cook an interesting meal and share it with friends, or go to a restaurant with friends, or just have friends for wine and cheese. And finally we'd wind down with a cup of tea or some other bevarage, and compare notes on the day before cuddling down to sleep and looking forward to the new day.

Lillian's Laws for Living Life

Today would've been my mother's 82nd birthday, and it's gray and dreary here. An appropriate backdrop for my reflective mood. The best way I can think of to honor her memory is to republish her collected wisdom; she and I worked on this short piece a few months before her death. Actually, I take it back, that's the second-best way. The best way was to use some of our inheritance from her to complete the work she was unable to complete herself, and we set up an endowed scholarship in her name; more on that another time.

Lillian's Laws for Living Life

You can be anything you want to be, if you're willing to work hard enough. No one else has the right to define you, your hopes, dreams, priorities, and goals. Never accept limitations or labels put on you by anyone.

You control your environment. You have the privilege and responsibility for making it what you want to live in -- both your physical environment and the types of people you surround yourself with. If you abdicate that responsibility, you deserve to live in what you get.

When you've really arrived, you don't have to shout about it. Understatement is often the most elegant way to call attention to something (or yourself).

Concentrate on getting an "A" for effort, and the rest will take care of itself. Doing your best is more important than being the best.

Keep your promises, no matter what. If you're not certain you can keep it, don't make it!

Always tell the truth. Not only is it ethically correct, it's easier to remember than a lie.

Moderation is always the wiser course. There is no black or white, just shades of gray.

Education is the most valuable thing you can acquire. The truly wise person knows how much there is still to learn, and is willing to take lessons from everyone and everything in the world.

All of your most valuable possessions are intangible. Your skills, your friends, your health are more important than "stuff" you accumulate because it is useful, or beautiful, or amusing, or reminds you of someone special.

Never let anyone pressure you for an immediate answer. Any important decision is worth sleeping on. A good deal can stand scrutiny and will still look good in the morning.

Make your own decisions, and take responsibility for the consequences.

Buck the trend -- do what makes sense for you, no matter what "they" may think.

Stand up for your rights; no one else will do it for you.

Keep things in perspective and pick your battles. Identify what's really important, and fight as hard as you can for that; be ready to give in on anything else.

Contemplating the nature of God is a procrastination technique--the world becomes a better place only through your positive action. Even if you don't know what God is, you know what good works are. You should be out there making a difference!

Tolerance is one of the most beautiful words in the English language.

Don't burn your bridges -- keep as many options open as possible, as long as possible.

Saying "thank you" is a great investment. So inexpensive, and you never know when a kind word to someone else will give you a delightful payback.

I'm jazzed!

Got an email complimenting my writing for my newspaper blog Life Afloat. Unlike efriends like Krissie (Australia) and Moni (Netherlands), who received an excited email from me telling them my blog was being published, this guy is my first international (Canada) reader who found me on his own. I didn't send the link to him. Kewel!

It came in as an email in my inbox with the vague subject of "good day" from a sender whose name I didn't recognize and my first thought was, ugh, my spam filter's getting sloppy, I'm guessing this is an ad for Viagra or a request to help move some Nigerian bank money ... almost deleted it without reading. So glad I didn't! Brightened my whole day.

Well, that and the fact that I have 6 days off. Monday is a holiday anyway (MLK Day). For the inauguration, they close all Federal offices in the Washington area - no one would be able to get in to work anyway. It's going to be cold so I'm not going to try to brave the crowds. I'm going to try to find a 'viewing party' somewhere near here to watch the events on tv and celebrate.

An Awkward Re-gifting Situation

(This is the sort of thing where I miss the input from the GWF board. Sigh. FIE on Vista!)

A friend gave us a bottle of wine for Xmas in one of those gift bags; it had obviously been regifted. At least, the bag had, it still had the original tag on it (oops). We think there's nothing wrong with reusing the bag, it's better for the environment that way. Our problem is that snugged into the (reused) tissue paper surrounding the bottle was a gold pin, still in its original package. I'm having a hard time figuring out if it was intended for me. Not really my 'style' hence not picked out with me in mind, but our friend is not from the US and this pin is very much in the style of his native country.

So, if it was truly intended for me, I'd like to accept it with grace. OTOH, if it was an oversight, sooner or later the original gifter will ask our friend how his wife M. liked the pin. Yikes!

I think I have to bust him on the regifting to make sure?? Normally, I'd invite him over to share the excellent wine with us, and broach the awkward conversation, but, making it doubly difficult, there's a language barrier! The only thing I can think of right now is to enlist the help of his daughter as a translater via email (she's in school out-of-state). I hate to spread the potential embarassment but don't know how else to make sure I'm not hijacking a (possibly pricey) gift meant for someone else.

A Very Pleasant Business Meeting

Friday was Dan's BD, and we had plans to meet friends for dinner, but first, a business meeting with our financial planner was scheduled for the AM. He walked us through the financial plan booklet he'd prepared for us and as he was talking about page 3 he said, "I think you'll be happy to see the numbers on page 4." <*insert drum roll here*> We're on track and if we retire at the end of August and then after a few lean months, by the following January 2010 we should expect our monthly income to be almost exactly what we're living on now. It was clear that he had almost as much fun saying this as we had hearing it ... especially as right now in the U.S. he's worked with a lot of people whose investments have done so badly that they've had to put off retirement for YEARS.

Our new friends J. and A. met us for dinner at a local bar/restaurant that's popular with sailors. They had just closed the deal on a new boat and they were full of news. We talked excitedly and had dinner, and as we got up to leave we noticed that we were the last ones there. We got home and I was stunned to learn it was 11 PM. We had spent 4 hours at that restaurant table! I sent an email to J. and A. that said OMG I can't believe we talked about boats nonstop for 4 hours and never noticed the time passing! They sent back an email saying they'd noticed the same thing. Sounds like this particular friendship is off to a roaring start!