Finished!!

Last night I sent this email to a few friends:

Subject: My last few days have been interesting! And productive! (and a little
strange)

Text: Well, as I promised in my blog, I've been sleeping on my
office floor. I've been waking up between 6 and 7, going downstairs to the
cafeteria for breakfast (high protein and a little carb); then coming back to my
office, locking the door, check my personal email, and writing. I haven't talked
to anyone except for a mandatory teleconference for 1/2 hour on Tuesday, and a 1
hour seminar thisafternoon. Writing nonstop, leaving the office only to use the
bathroom or pick up printouts of successive drafts of the report. Eat a hearty
lunch (protein, veggies, and some fat) and go back to write. I haven't been
hungry for dinner so I've been skipping it. Work till about 9, then spend about
45 minutes on personal hygeine and exercise, then read for a few minutes and
fall asleep. I've spent a total of almost 37 hours actively writing in the past
3 days. Then I utterlyhit the wall, but - its done! Tomorrow, all I have left is
a total of 3 paragraphs making points in 3 different sections and revise the
executive summary to reflect the new organization of the report. Its odd to me
how totally relaxed I feel. It's odd how little creature comfort I *needed* --
c'mon, I'm sleeping on the floor, drinking only water and eating 2 meals a day,
haven't been outside since Monday. But I feel great, incredibly accomplished. In
a weird way it's been cozy and pleasant.I haven't had to think about anything
else BUT this report. My clothing was packed, no decisons what to wear in the
morning. No deciding priorities in the inbox, there was only one thing to work
on. The phone was set to roll to voicemail and I didn't check email. I feel a
little disconnected. But Dan's coming home tomorrow, and so will I. Interesting
experience and I'm glad I had it. But now I'm ready for something else to think
about. Anything!

I got back a bunch of supportive congrats emails and as I pointed out, they shouldn't build me up to be supergirl here - Dan points out that I'm pretty susceptible to working with a deadline ... and trying to finish this before retirement is the ultimate deadline. One friend D. said it sounded as if this was a kind of meditation for me, or a mini-writing retreat, and I told her that a retreat was exactly what it felt like. I learned a few things about my style, too: One is that multitasking and writing just don't work for me - I need to do total immersion if I'm in a writing project like this. I also learned how sensitive I am to biorhythms. The juices started really flowing for me from about 2 or 3 PM till about 7 or 8 PM, that's when I got the really hard parts done. It was lovely to work those hours, and then have no worries about a long drive home after. Just hit the standby key and go to the other side of the room where I had my sleeping pad laid out. Finally, I learned that protein is so much betterfor my brain than carbs. I was never a sugar buzz person, but now I'm questioning even my cup of plain oatmeal for a mid-morning boost.

I looked again at my report and the conclusions seem so obvious now, like anyone should have known that. Also, the anecdotes so relevant, and the organization so logical. I think I need to take a step back from the project, give it a small rest, and then reread it start to finish. Gads, I hope this paper is as good as I think it is. But then, I'm so close to it. I learned so much during this project, about how we as a society use science in making decisions. And yeah, I'm proud of myself!