New Year's Eve / Old Year's Night

The wind is shrieking and every time a gust hits the boat heels enough that things slide off the counters ... and that's tied up in the slip! Annapolis has a great fireworks display that we can see from the cockpit, but I doubt the weather will allow them to hold it tonight. Darn! It's our 25th anniversary and we joke that much of the world throws parties and gets the day off work just for us.

Whether its the wind or the prospect of a day off tomorrow, or my state of mind, I'm having a tough time focusing on work today. Instead I've been checking friends' blogs, surfing the 'net for fish-and-tropical-fruit recipes for tonight, and doing administrative/organizational tasks rather than the one 2008 review that's still on my list. What can I say? I hate arbitrary deadlines, and comments on this one document are due at close of business today. WTF? do I really think that someone is going to read them before Monday?

I don't do "New Years Resolutions" per se - at least, not the traditional kind like I will floss my teeth every night, I will be nicer to my BIL, I will eat right, I will go to the gym more, etc. I do, however, identify things I want to focus on during the year. This year I have 3:

• Health: I'm still wrapping my mind around knowing that I have to do my physical therapy exercises at least a couple of times a week for the rest of my life, assuming I want to be able to walk, and "I'm too busy" isn't an option. Now, it seems to me that someone who spends 4-6 hours per week in the gym ought to boast being buff and golden, but for me that's just what it's gonna take to get to the starting line. Oh, well, that's my reality, I have to deal.


• Getting our finances organized, and on autopilot as much as possible: We missed a couple of payments this year just because we forgot, or the bills went to the wrong place, not because we didn't have the cash. So my goal is to put things on autopay, set up tickler files for things we need to anticipate (taxes!), do as much as I can by email, and generally get this in shape while we're still living at a fixed address, because it will certainly be more difficult while we're traveling next year! I've already gotten a head start on this one - earlier this afternoon I set up a "monthly payment account" with our insurance agent to address all our insurance policies in one place (3 cars with bills twice a year, 3 rental properties with bills once a year, our personal liability, etc etc). She said, no wonder you sometimes miss payments, you must be getting one or another bill from us every month!


• Career: Wrapping it up, completing my "Science Impact" (science in public decisionmaking) project, and generally figuring out who I want to be in the second 1/2 of my life.

Oh, yeah, #4 - sharpen and practice my emailing and blogging skills, 'cuz that's the only way I'll be keeping in touch with friends after next autumn!!

Dreaming of a Small Christmas

This great image came from Krissie in Australia, but it seems quite appropriate to the US this year. Krissie’s words remind me of my mom, whose idea of decoration was a pot of branches and red berries by the door, tied with a red bow and spotlighted. She loved that her neighborhood in New York’s Upper East Side was decorated with just tiny white lights everywhere, some garland and red bows. No tinsel, no glitter, no animated lights or inflatable Santas. She taught us that understatement can be dramatic and elegant. Not to mention saving money and time and cleanup on over-the-top decorations!

Okay, yeah, I’ll admit it. I do like the sparkle and glitter of the holiday, in small doses. One of my favorite memories was a gift my grandmother gave me – my very own tree. It was a small, maybe 2-foot, silver artificial tree with pink and silver glass balls. It was the only thing in my life that I can ever remember liking that was pink. I spent hours decorating that tree, putting the balls on, then taking them off to do it again. But I was like, 6 years old, okay? She was a salesperson at a local department store and I actually think the tree was one of their decos that they gave away to employees.

The other cool thing that my mom did, was no Dec 25th madness. We kids each got one gift to show our friends. Then, she combined thrift with an opportunity to teach us kids about delayed gratification, we went for a shopping spree all day Dec 26th, including lunch out. She showed us how we could get more toys for the same budget if we waited for sales, and avoided the frantic shopping scene in favor of creating a new personal tradition for our family.

But the whole US economic downturn/consumer culture’s got me thinking. I read on one blog that the author was cutting back this year, partly in response to tight finances, but also using the crisis as an opportunity to recalibrate and scale back their family’s overspending. She said she was working to teach her kids the difference between a want and a need. This author actually got a comment that she was being unpatriotic, that she owed it to our society to spend all you could to stimulate us out of our economic crisis!!!

It feels awfully, awfully like being on a treadmill. Our economy is some 70% consumer driven, what does that mean? Can it really mean that most of what we make is something we don't really need and can live without? Can it really be that the only way we can make jobs is to give in to manufacturers encouraging us to buy more than we need or can afford?

But if we don’t shop, they tell us, there will be layoffs. Toymakers and auto workers and department store clerks will lose their jobs. Gee, what if instead of laying some peole off and others keeping 100% of their jobs, what if we all work a few less hours, earn a little less money, buy fewer wants but still all our needs, and spend the newly gained time thinking, or socializing, or creating, or appreciating? That might be the biggest “small Christmas” ever.

Last Times

I went to my office Xmas party and something was different. Same white and gold tree in the corner as last year. Same music as last year; a bass played by our elegant big boss, a piano and a guitar played by some guys I didn't know, kazoo (!) played by the cheerful guy who'd survived a heart attack a couple of years ago, vocals by two women from personnel. Same arrangement of tables as last year with the same foods (2 for appetizers, 1 for desserts, 1 for drinks). Same-same...except. Except that this office party, with Dan's office party tomorrow, will be my last office Xmas parties - ever. Next year at this time I'd be retired, living on the boat, presumably anchored off some sandy beach.

I looked around the auditorium in which the party was held and realized that I knew few of the people, and most of those I did know were senior too. I felt uninspired to meet new people, and certainly uninspired to schmooze. I gave my door prize ticket to the woman sitting next to me (what would I do if I won? If I wasn't working here any more, what good would a logo coffee mug or shirt do me?), and left early.

Everything I do this season has the unusual clarity of something I'm about to lose, and want to sear into memory. The annual Thanksgiving dinner at Karen and Howard's in Philly, Melissa's gift swap in Alexandria, Parade of Lighted Boats in Annapolis that always falls on the same evening as my cousins Rob & Amanda's holiday open house ... this year is the last time for all of it.

Back in my office, I grabbed a textbook off my shelf to back up a comment I wanted to make on a document I was reviewing...and the last time for that, too is coming soon...and the textbook almost opened itself to where I wanted. This time I noticed that the pages were yellowing and the copyright was 30 years ago. I remember buying that book when it, and my career, were brand new. I don't want to be one of those people doing the retirement countdown because I believe in this job. I have one last thing I want to do, and that's revise my report on barriers and opportunities on getting science into public decisionmaking. I'm tired of driving the Beltway, and my eyes will glaze over if I have to read the plans for one more road or bridge. And yet, I need something bigger than myself to be involved in, some reason to get up in the morning. If my life is just about pleasing myself, lounging on the beach, who would notice if I was gone? My friend Cathy once explained why they came back from cruising, "You can only play so many games of tennis or golf before it gets boring." Exciting, and scary at the same time. Next year at this time ... who will I be, when I no longer hand out business cards that identify me as "Senior Environmental Scientist?"

Simplify Your Life

Got this email from my friend Dani:
"One thing that I've realized through the years, is that what I consider and define as simple, can be quite different from everyone else. Some people consider simplicity living off the earth, gardening, cloth diapering, making food from scratch, and "getting back to the earth". Others believe in having very sparse, minimalist, decor, eating simply prepared meals (via microwave) or eating out (then you don't have to cook). We went to a discussion on simplicity a year ago, and people were arguing about what it meant. Finally, a friend of mine pointed out that if microwaving vegetables for a meal, enables her to have more time with her children, or if using a dryer to dry clothes instead of line drying them frees up time, then isn't that simplifying too? It was amazing when people started to realize, that baked from scratch foods might be simple in one sense, yet in another sense and situation, they may not be.I loved how you mentioned in your last email Krissie:"I am happy with this and living simply means I can enjoy and not be a slave to the house which is feeling too big for us as we age. "It's causing me to wonder about what living simply means to me, and to the rest of you.-Dani"

So here's what I'm thinking of sending back:

Great question, Dani! Caused me to think a lot about what a simple life means. Do I automatically have a simple life because I live on a boat? I think not. I'm independent of the power grid and very conscious of the environment and limited in my possessions, does that make it "simple?" At the same time, the systems on a boat are in many ways more complicated than in a house - you never have to take precautions about your house sinking.

My attempt to define simplicity: Everything I choose to include in my life supports my chosen way of living. When I look at commitments on my calendar, or possessions on my shelves, or names in my address book, I feel these things give me energy and pleasure, they don't drain my energy or make me sad or stressed. I wish I could remember the name of the architect who said, "Have nothing in your home that you don't believe to be beautiful or know to be useful." I think that's a pretty good summary and guide for a simple life as a whole. I'd also add that I strive to have nothing that exists solely to impress others or satisfy others' expectations of what I "should" have or do.

Simplicity is also a matter of priorities. In one sense, moving onto the boat forced some focus. As my friend Linda said when I asked her how to decide what to take, it's simple: "first safety stuff, then tools, then everything else" (until you ran out of locker space.)

Simpicity for me also means no excess. My friend Lucy describes visiting her Uncle Bud in rural Texas, quite a colorful character. She asked for a cup of tea and discovered that Uncle Bud only owned two spoons. "Uncle Bud, why do you only have two spoons?" "Why do I need more?" Uncle Bud answered. "I only got one mouth."

One morning when we still lived in a house, I went downstairs to get a cup of coffee. I stood at the cabinet, coffee pot in hand, and saw a lovely set of ceramic mugs in a glowing shade of amber that I'd inherited from my Mom. I also saw a lighthearted mug that I had bought on the last day of a vacation with Dan, and the mugs that matched our dishes, and the freebies I'd gotten at a conference, etc. Suddenly I realized that here I was, standing at the kitchen counter while my coffee cooled, spending energy to make a decision about which mug would best suit my mood today. (Actually, spending double energy since I'm terrible before coffee) I call these "microdecisions" - whichever way you decide doesn't make any difference at all in the long run, but you still have to spend energy deciding! What a waste excess can cause, on so many levels!

A few weeks ago I pulled out my winter clothes. Some, like my cuddly Irish fisherman's sweater or my dark brown pantsuit, I welcomed back like old friends. Others I looked at with a feeling of dread - I was obligated to wear them because I had paid good money for them. Someone I was shopping with had talked me into them, or they were on sale for a good price, or they fit the image of what a grownup should wear. Ironically, those dreaded clothes are the ones I wear more than the ones I love - hoping they'll wear out enough that I can shed them without guilt. Now, whazzup with that???

So I've developed a litmus test that works for me, simplicity is support, and it's enemies are surplus and "should."

Verizon, and my solution to the economic crisis

It's been 3-1/2 weeks since we got back from St Maarten and moved to our new slip for the winter while F-dock is being renovated (yay!) We scheduled our phone & internet move with Verizon - we're only moving 100 yards away, how hard can that be?

We got our new phone YESTERDAY and we STILL don't have internet! And every time I try to call, I get the recorded voice saying "press 1 for billing and payments, press 2 for tech support..." and after about 10 minutes on hold and 4 layers of automated menus, I finally get a human who tells me I have the wrong department and need to start over...ARRGH! I just checked my cellphone records and have spent over 2 HOURS on calls to Verizon!! It really shouldn't be this hard!

So my suggestion for our president-elect: Instead of a 21st-century New Deal, hiring the unemployed workers to update our national infrastructure, roads and bridges ... let's give them all nice office jobs in customer service, and make automated telephone menus illegal. What do you think?