Light and Darkness

A friend is an anti-death-penalty activist; her guy was executed today.  It's complicated.

Do not think you didn't make a difference.

In the unchanged world, he lived, and he died, that is all.  Because of you, he was loved before he died.  That is everything.

You cannot fight darkness with more darkness.  You can only fight darkness with light.  You cannot fight death with more death.  You can only fight death with love.

"Perhaps he deserved to die.  But there are those that die, that deserved to live.  Do not be so quick to grant the one, unless you can grant the other."  (my paraphrase of Gandalf the Wizard's comments in Tolkein's Lord of the Rings trilogy; and reminder of the virtue of humility; to the governor of Texas on the death penalty)

Embracing Winter

Who, me?  The one married to the guy who boasts that the only ice he's seen since 2008 is in his glass of rum?  Me?  Winter?

Yeah.

We decided to hang out in Annapolis this year for a couple of logical reasons. I wanted a long period with supertrainer Jen to get my back back into shape so I could, you know, walk normally.  And we'd needed a few months to let the bank accounts rebound after the excess spending of the last glorious winter in St Augustine.

I knew that staying in Annapolis for a year meant we'd experience winter for the first time in 4 years. What I didn't expect was to look forward to it.  But today in the grocery store the shelves were stocked with big orange soup mugs and a sale on canned Progresso soup.  Like all advertising, it wasn't about the item itself; it was about the image of myself using the item, that they tried to sell.  Sure enough, I could visualize myself in the cozy lovely life I fantasized, log cabin in the woods with the trees shedding their autumn-colored leaves outside.  And I wanted that coziness, that safety from the storm.   I could just see myself standing near the fireplace, wearing a well-loved old gray sweater, sipping warm tomato soup from that mug after an invigorating hike in the woods...

I don't have a log cabin, or woods full of maple trees.  And I know that winter will also include chilly fingertips, icy docks, and dark mornings.  But I'm going to buy myself one of those big mugs, and browse the Web for soup recipes, snuggle down, get slow and contemplative and quiet, light some candles and make the very very best of the coming season.

COLREGS

There's been a lot of coverage here (and here and here) of a bad boat crash involving high speed and drinking on the part of one of our legistators.  The other boat was a guy trailing his grandchildren tubing.  Lots of injuries - fortunately, all are expected to recover - and lots of blame to go around.  Speed and alcohol for sure on the one boat, potentially speed, distraction and/or erratic driving on either or both boats.

The accident investigation to determine who was at fault hasn't been completed, yet.  Lots of conversations online and with boating friends speculating about "who had the right-of-way?"

See, with boats, there is a clear set of rules explaining what to do in various situations where boats meet on the water.  They are the "COLREGS" - International REGulations for Preventing COLlisions at Sea.  They explain which boat has to alter course if two appear to be on a collision course - sailboats yield to tugs, for example, and power boats yield to sail; in this case it's about which boat is more maneuverable.  The boat that has the right-of-way also has obligations; it must maintain its course and speed so the boat that is charged with avoiding it can predict where it will be.  COLREGS also give general rules to be followed at all times (keep proper watch, keep speed safe for conditions); and codify old traditions that describe the pattern of lights that will allow boats to see each other, and just by eye to identify each other's type and some indication of their orientation and course at night.

It's my fantasy, so I keep thinking, it would be so cool if we had some sort of COLREGS for everyday life.  Just imagine how smooth social interaction would be if everyone knew and followed the same rules to avoid. if not boat crashes, then personality clashes!  I get that etiquette is intended to do just that, sort of, but it varies from culture to culture and even from region to region. But remember that whole bit in the COLREGS about lights, so you can instantly look at another boat and from its lights at night, understand what kind of boat it is and where it's headed?   What I'd really like in my hypothetical COLREGS for social interaction, is the equivalent of those lights - so that on meeting a new person, you could instantly understand their true nature and intentions.

Note: This post is in no way a reference to either current national politics, nor any of my former lovers.  Nope.  None.  Not any.  (Yeah, right.)

Appropriate, Somehow

Yesterday, Aug 23, was the fifth anniversary of my dad's death.  He was an engineer and a materials expert, fascinated by new gadgets and processes.  Somehow it seemed very fitting to me that yesterday was also the day we got 4 coats of the wonderful copper-epoxy bottom paint we've been so excited to try.  I don't know whether he would have thought the concept of adding copper powder to epoxy to repel barnacles and other marine growth brilliant or wacky, but I'm sure he would have had an opinion!

Stirring pure powdered copper into the 2-part epoxy

Four coats of the stuff made our hull sparkle!

Mel at work early in his career.  He quit smoking in his 40s, but  continued to have a messy desk until the day he died.

Its All Good

It's hot.  It's sticky-icky humid Washington in summertime hot, and the aircon can't keep up.  And I'm sitting here, dripping, and basically waiting for evening when it cools down.  Waiting for the day to be over. 

Whoa!! What's wrong with that?  What's right with that?

A day - a single day - doesn't seem like so much in the middle of your life, but has infinitely more value at the end.  I'm letting this day basically dribble away, this day that has, whatever else, sunshine and freedom and relative health and Dan in the same room with me.  There were times when I was facing a deadline, when I would love to have an extra day before (whatever-it-was) was due.  Or my friend whose husband has only a few more months to live, I'm sure she would gratefully take this day, sticky-icky temperature and all, and add it to his dwindling supply if she could.

How could I take this day for granted?  Maybe somewhere there's a cosmic reset button on today?  Or at least, on my attitude?

Playlist for Dan's birthday included: The Beatles' "When I'm 64" (of course! Thank you Daniel S. for the mp3 version) and Jimmy Buffett's "I'm Growing Older But Not Up." He rarely seems to want frivolous stuff, so its been cool to see that while we've been here, he's been pretty excited about pirate history (blog post coming!). We've been to the pirate museum, gone on the pirate ship, and now, for his B-day, bought pirate costumes and signed up for (are you ready?) swordfighting lessons.

After we got home, we were sitting in the cockpit (dressed as pirates!) and almost immediately some dockwalkers came past and begged for a photo. Its kind of a kick, posing with swords with random strangers. (Who knows how many facebook pages we'll be on?) These people were from Russia, Israel, and Columbia, and were having a blast! So now we're St Augustine cultural ambassadors. Playing is good!

A Holiday Thought

Originally Posted in the Annapolis Capital: December 25, 10:43 am | (permalink) | (0 comments)

 [photo: starfish instead of snowflakes complement this garland seen on one of our daily walks around downtown St Augustine]

I can’t help it – plastic icicles hanging from palm trees just don’t get me into the holiday mood. Maybe it’s because we spent so many years in government service assigned to snowy places like Michigan and Wyoming before coming to Annapolis; or maybe it’s just the cliché images we’ve been bombarded with. Whatever, but songs like “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow;” or “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” have been running through my head, jarringly incompatible with the 80-degree sunny days we’ve been having. Day before yesterday, we took the dinghy to the beach for a picnic, waded along the water’s edge picking up seashells and watched dolphins playing in the harbor. A lovely day, but not a lovely “two-days-before-Christmas-catch-the-spirit” kind of day. For me, that means coming home to a crackling fire in the fireplace, not coming home to wash off the salt and turn on the air conditioning.

And then this morning I woke up next to the one I love, safe and well-fed, on a boat, in an interesting new city, and realized another holiday image that doesn’t depend on snowflakes or reindeer. It’s the image of gratitude, and the realization that the greatest gifts aren’t the ones that come in packages wrapped in shiny paper. Cliché? Maybe. But maybe it’s a cliché because it’s repeated often, and it's repeated often because it’s very, very true. The greatest gifts are not those that you can touch with your hands; they are the ones that you touch with your heart.

Wishing you all peace, love, joy … all the things that matter most, this holiday season.